


Memories

by serapheim



Series: 30 Kisses [13]
Category: DBSK|Tohoshinki|TVXQ, Real Person Fiction
Genre: Before fame, Celebrities, Contemplation, Fame, Fluff, M/M, Memories, Past, Time - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 19:56:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/840759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serapheim/pseuds/serapheim
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jaejoong remembers the times before 'now'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Memories

**Author's Note:**

> 30 kisses challenge; #14; radio-cassette player.

Time flows without any restraint. Feelings change, people come and go. Places, days, faces - just a blur in his mind. He knows that once he was just a boy, the youngest son in the family with too many daughters. He knows that there used to be the time when he was just a nameless face in the crowd. One of the thousands. Millions. Someone and no one at the same time.  
   
It all changed some time ago.  
   
It’s been years since he started his career in music business and it was during those first few years, when everything felt new to him. There were no limits, he could do anything. Wear any clothes he liked, choose any hairstyle, go anywhere he liked. He did have obligations and responsibilities though. Still, the feeling that money had given him could be compared to nothing.  
   
Liberty, freedom. From everything.  
   
First it was easier to remember what it had been like to live in the city suburb instead of the prestigious center and take subway instead of personal car. He can recall times when he had no cell phone, although it seems a strange notion to him now. He remembers that once going abroad was as an unreachable dream for him as going to the moon.  
   
Now nothing is impossible.  
   
He thinks of his life ‘before’ and ‘now’, tries to understand if the life ‘before’ was harder than it is now. Somehow he can’t really decide. He is so engrossed in his thoughts, he doesn’t hear another boy approach him, until a warm breath caresses his cheek.  
   
“What’s that?” A surprised question, and he is looking at the thing he has been holding in his hands for sometime.  
   
“It’s a player,” he says, his fingers rub lovingly over the black plastic.  
   
“A radio-cassette player?!” His lover sounds much amused as a slender hand reaches out to touch the named object.  
   
“Yes,” he snaps it out of the other’s reach. “Why does it surprise you so much?”  
   
“Don’t tell me you still use it! It’s an old piece of junk!” I smile a little at his words. “Of course not,” I try to imagine what would have happened to one of our sponsors if they found out that I neglected their modern mp3-player in favor of an old cassette player. I can almost see the horror on their faces and bewilderment, which I am sure is very similar to the expression my lover wears now.  
   
“I just keep it as a reminder of life I had before this. Before popularity, fans, money,” I trace the faded name of the brand with the tip of my finger. “It serves to remind me that once I couldn’t have, couldn’t afford, everything I wanted.”  
   
A gentle kiss lands on my temple, and I know that he understands.  
   
“The times when we didn’t know each other,” his voice is half curious, half thoughtful. I nod. Both of us had to go through lots of things before we got all  of ‘this’, before we got ‘here’. I wonder if he thinks of those times as much as I do. If maybe he keeps something from that period of his life as well. I want to know, but I don’t ask. In spite of our closeness I know that there are some things too private to share.  
   
His arms are warm around me as he pulls me close. “Maybe I should throw it away,” I murmur into his t-shirt. Surprisingly I can feel him shake his head: “Don’t. It is part of your memories. It belongs to you.”  
   
We are silent for a moment, while I listen to his heartbeat with my eyes closed. I keep thinking of changes and time, a thought still nagging at the back of my mind. “Wonder what kind of memories I will have of you, of us,” I wonder out load.  
   
The arms tighten around me. “No need in those,” he whispers into my ear, “I am never leaving you.”  
   
 *****  
   
 _Written: November 6, 2006_  
 _Revised: June 12, 2013_


End file.
